You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
