he wants to bone in the snuggie
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
