Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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