can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
