I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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