Screwed.edu
im about as happy as oj after his trial
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
