Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
