Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
