sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
