Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
