she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
