I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Shame - the story of my life.
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