we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
