Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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