I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
