I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
