all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
