Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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