we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dear god my vagina.
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