so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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