Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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