Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
