i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Who died my cat blue again?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
