I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I need water and some morals
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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