Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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