Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
