Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
