We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
