i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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