You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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