I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
