So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
