Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
