she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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