ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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