Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The struggles of a small town man whore
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
