Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
