i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
