Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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