in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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