Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize