if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Randomize
