No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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