The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
