I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
