she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
