sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
