are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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