just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
