Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
