i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
