i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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