THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
