Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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