btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
whose ass print is on the piano?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
