it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
