You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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