those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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