How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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