Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize