I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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