That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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