I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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