In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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