Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
