but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
