maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
