I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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